I'll start tomorrow...

Seems like every morning I wake up with the intention of actually counting calories, or weighing my food, or not eating carbs, or something diet related.  Just not sure what happens in that moment when food is presented or in my reach that makes my hand-to-mouth react.  I think to myself "Well...there ya go.  I guess I will have to start tomorrow...AGAIN." Disappointment.  Total disappointment.  Not sure why today I felt like I needed 3 donuts while I was getting gas.  (Ok, that was to comfort my anxiety over paying $3.53/gal, $30 for 8.5 gallons-Keep in mind it had JUST dropped $.06 while I was selecting my donuts.)  And before that I ate almost a whole bag of chex mix.  But I started the morning sooooo well!  I ate 2 packets of plain oatmeal, with some fresh blueberries and bananas added with milk and splenda.  It just went downhill from there.  UGH.  Why am I unable to get the momentum that I need to get on the right track???  I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday and today and realized I am almost back to my heaviest weight.  Just a matter of 30 to 40 pounds more and I will be effing gi-nor-mus.  (I guess right now I am just gi-nor-mus)  

At 278 pounds, I can almost see myself back to who I was 8 years ago.  Well over 300 lbs.  I STRUGGLED for years to get 130 +/- pounds off.  At 185 pounds, yes I was still overweight, but WOW I looked good, felt good, dressed like I wanted, and just flat out glowed.  Now, I look like poo.  My skin is broke out, my nails are short, my hair needs to be trimmed, and my feet need a pedicure.  My back has fat in places I didn't know you could get fat on.  Blah.  I just feel disgusting.  So what do I do to get started?  I need a real plan of action.  I really have to not love to EAT as much as I do.  Can I get my sweet tooth pulled?  And my "junk food" tooth taken as well?  Because I love both.  Seriously.  

So tomorrow...I start again.  I hope...

The akward, rambly type intro...

I have been sitting here (of course) thinking wow, I wonder how many other ladies (or gents for that matter) might be able to relate to me these days?  I am no one special.  Just your average 30 year old female, momma of one (little angel that is almost 2) doing her best to make ends meet.  I do have this 100 extra pounds of plumpness attached to my body, what seems permanently.  And to add to that, I am broke!  Sometimes I wonder how broke people stay fat?  I mean, we can hardly afford to keep our electric on, or put more than $20 worth of gas in our car at a time.  But we sure can afford to hit up the drive thru a few times a week.  What is it about those french fries, or chicken nuggets that take great importance over gasoline or our water bill?  Yes, I know, $15 (sometimes more) dollars a week REAALLLLLLY isn't all that much, but in the bigger picture, we shouldn't be doing such a thing.  I think "broke" is actually a diet of mine. 
My purpose on here...really just to entertain.  I am hoping that my newest venture in weight loss being public can not only help myself, but others!  Believe me when I say that it is pure entertainment.  My mom and I were walking into a store the other day to buy workout clothes to match the new gym membership we just bought (that's another story) and a handicap accessible van was backing out of a parking spot.  The vehicle was equipped with that "backing up" beep, so I holler "HEY MOM!  Look!!!!" and start slowly backing up as if the beeper was on my behind.  People looked, some laughed out loud, some just turned their heads and laughed on the inside in fear of embarrassing me.  UM.  HELLO.  I am 278 pounds.  I have done squat-jacks to the tune of three sets of 50 each in the middle of my last gym.  I have jogged in public.  Not too much embarrasses me.  I promise that. 
Well...I feel like I am going in 12 different directions with this initial post.  So, I am going to stop this rambling, and get some future posts ready.  I feel like this will be fun.  Hopefully informative.  It will in no way be grammatically correct, and I apologize ahead of time.  I like parentheses, dots.....and CAPS (only when I would really be yelling though)

:)  Until next time, remember to order diet pop with your french fries because it makes sense. 

Love Love!!!<3<3

Side note...when I hit spell check, you should have seen all of the yellow!  If it weren't for that little button, I would have had to say I was sorry for all of the typo's as well.  <3